Ahem! The court will come to order. We now call the case of “You versus your stupid cell phone plan.” Let’s see, let me read the indictment here… says that you’ve been charged with overpaying for your cell phone plan. Well, that’s serious. Very serious indeed.
What do you mean, you plead ignorance? I’ll say it’s ignorant, to be paying as much as you pay for a cell phone plan. Are these numbers right? $80 or more for a monthly service plan? And you’re locked into that plan for two years? I ought to throw the book at you right now.
What book? The book of “Stupid Things People Do.” Bailiff! Play that video!
There, did you see THAT? Do you understand NOW just what you’ve done?
That’s right. You’ve been paying $80, $100, even $150 for a cell phone plan and you could have been paying as low as $45 a month, and STILL GETTING Everything you need! Straight Talk, the cell phone provider that gets you a cell phone for less, will give you an unlimited talk/text/data plan for as low as $45 a month – or $499 for the whole year!
Order! Order! Stop crying. I know you didn’t know, but that’s still no excuse.
Now, then, Count TWO of the Complaint says that you also paid nearly $200 for that phone. Let me see that. Mark it as an exhibit. What is this, a Kyocera? Oh, an LG? And you paid that much for it?
Why do I ask? Only because, young man, Straight Talk will sell you a smart phone with touch screen and qwerty keyboard and all your videos and apps and whatnot for under $60. You can even get Android on Straight Talk.
Yes, I said $60. If you don’t believe me, the reporter can read it back. Or listen to this customer:
Thank you for that helpful testimony. You know what bothers me the most? Not just that you’ve now fallen Hook, line and sinker for the Straight Talk plan but that it was staring you in the face all along! No contracts, no credit checks, no activation or termination fees, and you can change your plan each month if you want.
Plus, free 411 calls! Look at this bill here, Exhibit 3. You spent nearly $15 on those calls last month alone! Imagine what you could have done with that money! Why, you could’ve gone to LAW SCHOOL, and then you wouldn’t be standing here before me, in this predicament.
What am I going to do with you? I’ll tell you. First, watch this:
Now, Call a friend, and tell him that he has to take you immediately to get a Straight Talk phone.
Then, with all that extra money you’ll have, go do something nice for your family. Take them out to dinner - -heck, take them out to dinner TWICE A MONTH, every month. You’ll have enough left over.
That’s all. Court will be in recess.